Hi! I'm going to be honest. I am ashamed and embarrassed to be starting a fundraiser here. I shouldn’t have to or need to. Not at my age. But, I am at the end of my rope and I don’t know what else to do. It’s been the perfect storm of events leading to this. Truly, it feels like it’s been one thing after another. I know my issues are not anywhere close to as dire as most of the fundraisers I’ve read here are, which is why I feel a bit guilty coming here for help. We have food to eat and a home to shelter us, thank God. I’m not sure how much longer, though. I just don’t know what else to do
I am a single mom blessed with two beautiful, healthy little girls. I left their dad after almost 20 years. I left quickly, without very many of our things. I won’t go into detail but I’m sure you can piece together the reasons for leaving someone abruptly without even stopping to pack our things. I’m leaving that in my past; it doesn’t define me anymore.
The reason I mention it at all is to provide a backdrop to where my issues began. I had nothing. Literally nothing. My mom helped sign for me get a car (he wouldn’t allow me to have one-too easy to leave that way I guess) and paid the first months rent and deposit for a rent house for us. She is a blessing in so many ways. She’s a widow and has very little so I’m forever indebted to her for helping me. She saved me, literally. That car was my only way out.
It was hard starting out on my own after that long but I was determined to succeed. I had to. For my girls, and for myself. It’s been a little over three years and it’s still hard but I refuse not to succeed, no matter what I have to do. We live in a rural community with few jobs available so I started to work for uber. I drive into the larger county near me and work the max 12 hour shifts they allow when my girls are with their dad. During the school day I work for a house cleaning service here in town and I help run estate sales with a lady down the street. I work a lot of hours and odd jobs to take care of us, like most of us do. I make just enough to pay our rent, utilities, food and necessities. There’s nothing left at the end of the month. I’m sure many of you can understand that. It’s paycheck to paycheck for most of us.
About two months ago I had to take my daughter to school at 5:30 in the morning for a band contest. It was dark and on my way home I came up over a hill and there was literally a slew of deer in the road. I couldn’t even swerve to the other lane, they were everywhere. It was horrifying to me. It seemed like it took ten minutes for it to finally end. The noises have stayed with me to this day:( I got home and my car was in horrible shape. The bumper was hanging by a thread, and the headlights on one side were ripped right out of the car. It’s weird how things like that happen, just gone without a trace! I jerry rigged the bumper so it wouldn’t fall off. It looked pretty funny but it worked lol!
The deductible on my car insurance is 1,000. I thought it was a GREAT idea at the time to save money on my premiums. Not so much now! I didn’t have $1,000. I didn’t even have $100. Or $10 if im being honest. I can’t work for Uber without headlights and with a car that’s unsafe to drive so I’s been doing odd jobs around town to get my car fixed. Then, believe it or not, it happened again. Seriously. MORE deer. I think they have it out for me, retribution I guess lol! This time it pretty much totaled the front my car. It took two hours for someone to come down the road and give me a ride back into town. Apparently “i” am the Uber around here, there’s no other anywhere around! I love the country but not in times like this!
It’s been a month. I have no way to go to work, to do anything. It’s only a 20 minute drive to town but it’s a 3 1/2 hour walk each way. The bus picks up and drops off my girls from school, thankfully. I’d no sooner walk to town that it would be time to start walking back home to be there when my girls get home. They’re too young to stay home alone. I’ve been trying to sell things online on Facebook but we don’t have much to sell. I’m now, as of tomorrow, 2 months late on my rent, as well as car payment, utility’s, etc…it feels like I’m caught up in a whirlpool and I can’t find anything to grab ahold of to pull myself out. I don’t know what to do.
Now if you’re wondering why I don’t use my child support to pay these things it’s because my ex husband has paid a total of 3 payments since he was ordered to pay in July of 2019. I’ve filed all the necessary paperwork to take him to court for contempt but according to the attorney generals office they can’t move forward until the courts open back up. They’re still closed due to Covid. I’m in Texas, where our governor literally sued my kids school for asking kids to wear a mask for two weeks because 1/10 of the school kids/staff had come down with COVID in the first 2 weeks of school, yet the courts haven’t reopened due to covid and the safety of their staff. That’s more than a little ironic, to me, anyway. Whether your pro-vax or anti-vax I think you can still see the irony!
So now I’m here as a middle aged women begging for strangers to help me. This isn’t a place I ever thought I’d be in. I don’t know what else to do. If I can get my car fixed I can work again. I can find a way to get more hours in to make up for lost time. Somehow. But without a way to get there I can’t make money. And now Christmas is quickly approaching as well as their birthdays (I had thanksgiving and Christmas Eve babies❤️) and I’m a nervous wreck thinking about how to get them a gift when I can’t even pay the water bill. My landlord isn’t being as understanding as I’d hoped and the utility companies have worked with me but they’re requiring I pay something to continue to have their services.
I have extensive dental work needed. Apparently I’ve been grinding my teeth again when I sleep. I’ve broken two teeth in the last month. I’m sure they were on their way out and that just pushed them over the edge! It hurts and it’s so hard to eat. My kids have medical and dental insurance, but I can’t afford it for myself yet. Someday soon I will, though. The lord provides. He always does. Honestly I’m not worried about my teeth, I can put my food in a blender if I need to as long as I can get my car back on the road, keep a roof over our heads and get back to work. The anxiety has been unbearable. Which is what brought me here.
I am willing to repay anyone who can help me, with interest, anything I need to. I’ll clean your house, mow your yard. Anything. If you can’t give a simple prayer would be plenty. I want to say thank you in advance just for reading this epic novel:) I promise right here, right now to pay it forward in any and every way I can. Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m blessed beyond measure.
