My name is Samantha, for those who don't know me greetings, and those who do know me thanks for your support. I have a long career in IT and recently in 2023 graduated from Salem State University with my degree in Social Work. For the past 3 years I have been working in community mental health.
Over the past 3 years I have struggled with my own mental health, I put myself on hold. I supported my clients with every fiber of my being and I loved my new role. However being a social worker, I suffered through vicarious trauma often taking in a lot of my clients pain and not knowing how to release my pain.Ā
This is where things took a bad turn, I was given a script for benzodiazepines for anxiety. Well due to my own struggles and having Severe Depression my hurt got to the point where I did not want to exist. My first suicide attempt almost succeeded, I took a entire bottle of Diazapam I was stockpiling and finished and chased it with a bottle of tequila. When I was found, I was going unconscious, if it was not for my partner my first attempt might have succeeded. I participated in a lot of therapy, and safety planning.Ā
I thought everything was going ok and I felt the uncontrollable stress building and it was getting worse. Well I went into work Feb 12th 2026 and was forced to resign. My world on the 12th crashed fast, I called my partner and told her while sobbing on the phone I was racing home. My partner knew from my past I was going to do something. Well we arrived at the same time I went in and grabbed my bottle of Lorazapam and took a handful.Ā
I blacked out, 6 hours later I remembered nothing or what day it was but that pain was still there and realized I did not succeed so I took more Lorazapam. My partner at that time called the police and medical services. I was held at Beverly Hospital under a section 12, and then transferred fered to Bayridge Hospital for from the 13th until the 17th.
While I was there getting help, I spoke with several patients and made an unexpected friend who has been kind and supportive since release. There was alot to face when I got out, there is now a legal issue due to my hospitalization. I have no job, no health insurance and now my HRT and Monjurno will become unaffordable. I have reached out to the department of mental health to get support for that aspect of my life. However, in the meantime I need help with my bills, medications while I search for a new job and deal with this legal issue.
This is my story, I am a stranger to some of you who might read this. You maybe able to relate to my struggle. I ask you this, when you read my story if you are unable to help in anyway I ask that you pass it forward and help me share this further to try getting the support I need to rebuild. Thank you for those who have offered kind words and encouragement.
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