Hello! My name is Marisa, and I've been friends with Melina, Shant's daughter for over 15yrs. After various talks about her mother's health plight, my heart was heavy with worry. Her dad and ailing mother are in desperate need of our help.
I felt compelled to reach out to the community because last year, I too became a caregiver to a family member. I was honored to become the sole caretaker to an exceptional woman - my beloved mother-in-law. She fought hard against stage 4 pancreatic cancer. While I couldn't have imagined any other role but to be at her side until the end, I also got to experience firsthand the emotional and physical toll that that had on me. I'm taking this opportunity to help out a wonderful and kind husband navigate his new role as the primary caregiver to his beloved wife.
Seda and Shant came to the USA from Iran in 1977 in order to provide their two children a better and safer future. They worked hard and tried their best to raise good world citizens. Melina, on many occasions, would tell me how every one of her friends LOVED coming over her house as mama Seda always had some delicious dish to share. No one ever left the Gregorian's home hungry! Seda and Shant's home became instantly a safe and loving hub for Melina's friends for many years to come. To this day, whenever Mel gets together with childhood friends, they fondly remember Seda's wonderful meals and warm embrace.
Until Seda was forced to retire due to deteriorating health, she was known as an exceptional seamstress. One of her proudest moments was, without a doubt, when she got to showcase Melina's beautiful handmade wedding gown.
As mentioned earlier, Mel's mom had a rough few years battling poor health and later on, was diagnosed with dementia in January of 2021. Mel did what she could to help her parents while living in a different state. By the end of Fall of 2021, she was able to visit her family in Pennsylvania. She could tell that her father was beyond overwhelmed with his wife's care. Melina decided right then and there to stay longer then planned and ended up staying for 4.5 months. She tried her best in assisting with her mother's care while juggling work remotely. Shant was beyond grateful for his daughter's help and companionship throughout.
By the Fall of 2021, Seda had to be rushed to the hospital by ambulance after being unresponsive. Later it was found that her hemoglobins were dangerously low and she also had internal bleeding. After several tests, it was found that Seda had a large, obstructive, and cancerous tumor in her large intestine. Surgery was set but at the last minute had to be postponed since she contracted Covid and pneumonia. Once Seda's health improved, she was sent to a rehab facility to regain strenght and mobility before surgery. Unfortunately, there were only slight improvements made, and it was deemed that she was best served in a long-term skilled facility/state run nursing home. After two long months, she was finally ready for surgery and luckily, the tumor was fully removed and found not to have spread to other organs. Silver lining. Seda was sent back to the state nursing facility for recovery and rehab. Melina was appalled by the facility's physical condition and patient care (staff shortage was rampant). Mel and her dad had to continuously advocate for better care, daily PT, and OT. In addition, the level of neglect was terrible. Seda wasn't changed in a timely manner - causing bedsores to form, soiled bedsheets were not replaced accordingly, left on the floor after a fall...etc). To add insult to injury, Mel's dad had been tirelessly trying to get financial assistance for this poorly run facility. While awaiting the long and complicated process of getting Medicaid, they amassed a staggering bill of $58,000. They are currently still battling to get this covered by insurance. Daily extended visits to the nursing home became the norm. While Seda did show signs of physical improvement, she started to mentally decline. She desperately wanted to be in her home in familiar surroundings. Shant at this point was torn on how to best help his wife. On one hand, her short-term memory had declined, she still was incontinent of bowel and bladder, and she was a fall risk. However, seeing his wife emotionally deteriorating before his eyes, Shant decided that he HAD to take the mamoth task of caring for her.
Here we ask for your help: Shant is 80 years old, family assistance is minimal, and Melina lives across country. While Seda is getting a once-a-week, one-hour hospice visit, it's a far cry of help to Shant as the caregiver.
Seda needs help around the clock. She needs to be changed, watched over and kept safe 24/7. Her husband is constantly worried that she will fall and hurt herself. Seda's immobility and inability to perform the activities of daily living has already caused him to hurt himself while helping lift and moving her. These recent months have been extremely hard on his health and physical condition as well. To top it off, Seda's dementia has been causing imsomnia (not uncommon), which in turn has caused Shant to be unable to rest at night. He's tired, constantly worried, and stressed about the well-being of his wife. All the while he's ignoring his own health and emotional state.
They live off their small Social Security checks and still have a mortgage to pay. I ask you to consider helping us give Shant a well-deserved break.
Caregivers, on average, charge $30/hr. We are hoping to help him be able to hire a caregiver for at least a few hours a week so that he may have an occasional mental and physical break.
Any amount, big or small, will help if you can donate, but your thoughts and prayers are always welcome.
ALL PROCEEDS WILL GO DIRECTLY TO THE GREGORIAN FAMILY TO HELP SHANT CARE FOR HIS WIFE, SEDA.
