Baylea Jean is my daughter. She is only 9. She loves to play with her kitten and jump on her trampoline. She also loves to sneak over our backyard wall to play with her friends. Baylea loves school and has perfect grades. She has become a fighter against bullying and protects other children at school. She has a loving heart and a fierce personality. She tends to think about others rather than herself. I am incredibly proud of her and how she had begun healing and is ready to stand up and fight to the best of her ability.
Baylea has experienced many traumas in her little life. At the ages of Baylea (five) and my son Bryce (9) I made the decision to take both of my children back to Arizona and divorce their father for domestic violence. I knew that this would be a long battle in court, but I didnt realize how long it would really take. Its been 4 years and has cost me about $40,000 in attorneys fees alone.
Between the very beginning of 2019 through December 2020 my son told me and multiple doctors and 3 hospitals that he planned to shoot himself at his dads with one of his 5 loaded guns. The children were showing signs of severe anxiety, Depression as well as self-harm leading up to court ordered visitation in California with their father and his girlfriend. Within those 2 years the family court in Paso Robles, California ignored my infinite pleas reguarding my son planning to shoot his father to protect his little sister after he shot himself. He never wanted Baylea to have to be alone with their father as well as his father's girlfriend due to abuse.
After a visit when Baylea was 5, she came home and crawled into my bed in the middle of the night and told me that while she was at her dads, she prayed for god to let her die because she wanted to be in heaven. She said it was too hard and she couldn't handle it anymore. She was experiencing horrible abuse and wanted god to take her life rather than continuing the visit. As she got older the visits became so bad that Baylea started to self harm. She chewed off all of the hair that would reach her mouth without realizing what she was doing. This happened while on a vist. She also came home from a visit and was beginning to show signs of bulimia. She was 7. I realized what was happening and asked her why she felt the need to do that. Her response was "dads girlfriend kept telling me that I was ugly, fat and stupid." Baylea weighed only 40 pound when this began. The girlfriend wouldn't allow Baylea to eat with the other children and instead she was later fed salads after meal times. Bryce told me that anytime they go on a vist, the first thing Baylea always does is run around the house and try to find a hiding spot. She would try to spend the whole visit hiding and nobody even noticed or cared.
On 12/12/2020 Bryce followed through with his plans. With his sister safe with me in Arizona, Bryce shot at his dad, but missed and then he shot himself in the head. He lived for 30 minutes and suffered. Bryce thought that his death would keep Baylea safe from their dad. He thought that the court would finally listen to me and end Baylea's contact with their dad permanently. He died to protect Baylea.
Their dad had 2 years of warnings to lock up his guns. He lied to the court under oath, saying he didn't own any guns. He left the loaded guns within Bryce's reach after blocking both kids from counceling services and blocking hospital admissions for suicidal behaviors both before and after visits. The sherriff on scene of Bryce's suicide told me very clearly to protect my daughter and be willing to break the law and possibly go to jail if that is what it takes. He also told me that he knew my ex-husband was lying about what happened. He recommended charges be filed against him in Monterey county. The district attorney dropped the request almost immediately and they gave the guns back. Shortly after that I read the police report and realized that there were 3 more guns in the house that weren't handed over to the sherriff. He had lied once again. He owned 5 guns in total and only admitted to owning 2, which were confiscated.
Their dad is a federal police officer and he spent 20 years as a military police investigator. The court couldnt see past his career and the court favored him rather than me. They threw out 3 restraining orders, they treated me like a liar and manipulator. Their dad was an expert in firearm safety. There was absolutely no excuse for Bryce and Baylea to have loaded firearms in their reach. The court did order both parents to give consent for counseling only 2 months before Bryces death.
I had to get Bryce's body home to Arizona for the funeral. Baylea sat in front of Bryces casket so she could be as close to him as possible. She stopped eating and sleeping normally. she became so depressed that I had to get her a new doctor to provide counseling and depression medication. Baylea knew that her dad would request her counseling records again. He would know everything she said and so she refused to talk to her counselor about anything in the past and only talked about her week and how school is going. She was released from counseling service last year because she didnt seem to need anymore help. I came to realize very quickly that she was not any better, she was just scared to be honest with her counselor. The court subpoenaed her records recently and I understand Baylea's fear. If she was forced to go on further visits, she would be severly punnished for what he read in her records. Their father had requested records for both children in the past and when Bryce was honest with his counselor about the abuse and his suicidal ideation, his father called him after reading his records Bryce was punnished by his dad. A moth before his death, Bryce's dad called me after a suicide note was found and Bryce was yelled at over the phone. He was told to "knock it off and pull his head out of ass." He was also told that all of this was costing money which required him to have to work more hours, blaming a 12 year old child for his work schedule as if Bryce was the main source of all of his problems. This was reoccurring during our marriage too, but it was always aimed at me. My monthy spending budget was only $20 toward the end. Baylea and I heard the conversation clearly and that is when Baylea shut down.
When Bryce died in 2020, the court temporarily suspended their fathers rights, but now the court is pretending that Bryce never existed. The court is ordering reunification counseling between Baylea and her dad. They plan to reinstate her fathers rights and resume all contact and visitations. Baylea's progress and healing has ended. She is crying constantly, she is angry, scared and sad again. She has decided that she will not even get out of the car, see him or breathe the same air as him. She will refuse the court ordered reunification counseling. Knowing that Baylea is the only one who can fight for herself now is so sickening. She will have to find so much strenght to advocate for herself and say NO. I was informed that I will have to continue taking her to appointments for months reguardless of lack of her participation. Court will certainly not end this year. It is going to be a few more years before we are free. I am desperately doing anything possible to fight for all of Baylea's needs and her safety, security and happiness. This is what I need help with. I am creating this fundraiser to help me continue to pay my attorney and continue to be able to protect Baylea for as long as humanly possible. My latest attorney's fees means that I have spent $40,000. I have nothing left, no more money to keep my attorney. If the bill gets $400 higher and I can't pay the total balance, my attorney will drop me. This is life and death for my 9 year old daughter in the most litteral sense.
If you can find it in your heart and budget to donate towards my attorney's fees, please know that Baylea Jean and myself will appreciate it for as long as we live. You will be saving my daughter's life. Everyone who donates is also taking away so much anxiety and fear in my life as well. I can not lose another child, my only living child. I will not survive it. Thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for any donations, even if you can only donate $1, it will help.
With love, Jamie, Bryce and Baylea
