My father was a force to be reckoned with. For most of my life, he powered through change, worked incredibly hard, and took very good care of his family. He was a devote church minister for the youth and the first college graduate of his family.
I had no idea how much he struggled with mental illness until it was too late. Only in the past few weeks since his passing, did I really know how bad it was. My father dealt with severe anxiety and depression and was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder in his early twenties. At the time, the research on the disease that he had wasn’t at the extent that it is today. His doctors recommended plenty of medicines but none that he ever found would help him. Every prescription that he had ever tried was ineffective at treating him so he decided to try to control his disease through hard work and discipline. He was successful until about 6 years ago when his anxiety and depression took a turn for the worst. He lost his job, became fearful to leave our home, and him and my mother lost everything. In an attempt to salvage the life that he had before, he tried and tried to find a job, but the overwhelming fear of the world became too much for him. Without a job he wasn’t able to afford health insurance, and therefore he had no access to medication that could aid him in controlling his disease. As his demons, began to take over him completely, he pushed away everyone that ever cared about him or loved him. He would have manic episodes frequently followed by deep depressions that kept him on the couch. Through all of this, my mother kept trying to help him with his disease. She took the mantle as the breadwinner for the family. She provided health insurance, a stable income for my two sisters and took very good care of them all. My mother would receive the brunt of the anger that his disease would cause in him. But she never wavered in trying to help him and in doing everything she could to provide for her family.
On August 12, 2021, my father had a manic episode and spun out of control. In this manic fit, he destroyed the home that my mother worked so hard to maintain for so long. The carpets, the furniture, and bathrooms were being destroyed by him as my mother and sisters fled their home. The police became involved and plead with him to come out of the house so that they could get him some help. After this manic episode that was so intense, a terrible low followed. My dad felt so hopeless that he took his life on August 13th at 2:00 am after a long standoff with local law enforcement. As a precaution, before going into the home themselves, the police removed two windows from the home in order to send in a robot to check the building. They left two gaping holes in the side of the home, and damaged the exterior furniture of their home. They broke the front door so badly(even though the side door was unlocked and open) that the frame will need to be removed. He left my mother with nothing. After she worked so hard for years, he destroyed her home, all of her clothing, furniture, and even her work uniforms.
My mother and father carried an insurance policy on the home that is barely enough to cover the cleanup, let alone repair the home that my mother once lived in. People in the neighborhood broke into the home and stole some of the remaining items of value that my family had as well.
I am asking for some help for my mother who has been terrorized by a disease that wasn’t hers and that she couldn’t control. Her plan now is to move back into the home as it is, with boarded windows, a boarded up-front door, and flooring only in my sister’s bedrooms. The flooring in the rest of the home had to be removed. I would love to raise enough money to put her into a new home, one where she doesn’t have to go back into the closet where the love of her life, took his life, where my sisters will not have to put on shoes just to go to the bathroom for fear of getting wood or tile splinters stuck in their bare feet. I really appreciate any amount that you would be able to donate to her cause. God Bless.
-Ryan, (Son)
