Hello,
My name is Bryonna. My grandmother's name is Dorean and she has Alzheimers. My grandmother was the first person to hold me when I came in this world when I still had my umbilical cord in tact. My grandmother raised me. I remember when I was little, riding in the car to go to see her when she worked at Value City. I remember climbing into her bed when I was about 3 and watching The Little Mermaid tv show and Channel 6 Action news. I remember her telling me not to climb a tree because I would get stuck and of course I climbed it and got stuck.
I remember her getting me dressed for school with my matching plaid skirt and shirt and my Mary Janes I was obsessed with and her saying, "Bryonna, can you try not to get holes in your stockings today?" I always did and she would just shake her head.
I remember her teaching me how to cook, how to bake, how to crochet, how to fold napkins. I remember her teaching me how to be a lady in highschool. I remember her catching me smoking weed and 16 and boy did I get an earful so much so I was scared to smoke weed again. I remember her encouraging me in high school to apply for whatever college I wanted. I remeber her holding me as I cried when school did not work out.
I remember her introducing me to my husband and when so many people were telling us we were making a mistake getting married at 23 and 24, she knew I had found the man made for me. I remember her telling me I was pregnant with all 3 pregnancies and listening to my fears of being a mother, a loving mother and her informing me I can do it. She would do it through the years and she would talk me through anxiety and panic attacks to help me calm down. Now I am a married woman of 10 years, with 3 beautiful children who know I love them because of her.
Her nickname is Teeny because she came into this world extremely premature. Born in April l, she didn't go home until August. Her grandmom, Daisy, would rock her and call her Teeny baby. She always has been a fighter. She would have to get allergy shots at the hospital every weekend and still run around with the boys. She is a fiesty 5'1 Aries, who had no issue letting you know how she feels and what she was going to do.
My grandmother never drove, didn't have a car, but was always on the go. She traveled all over the country, to Canada, and to Puerto Rico. She loved to go to baseball games and museums. She loved art and paintings and music even though she was tone deaf she would still sing a tune and dance The Bop. She had things to do and she was going to do it and have a great time.
She lost her mother at 15 years old and had to step in as mom for her 5 younger siblings, her being the 2nd born of 7 and the first born girl. She raised my mom, my uncle, and myself. She would watch my children while my husband and I would work, teaching them and singing to them. She has always had someone to take care of her whole life. Her siblings, her father in law, her children, her children's friends who she is affectionately known as "Mom Byrd", myself and my friends when their parents worked overnight, babies at church, babies of anyone who could not afford daycare, making plates for people who struggled with addiction, praying for them on her morning prayer line.
When I left the church, she asked why and what was it I questioned. She listened to me and my perspective and supported my religion change. I remember that day in the laundry room. She even came to a drumming with me and that was such an amazing moment for me for her to experience a huge part of my life.
She was the president of the Usher Board, a Communion Steward, held Bible study, helped with our church's clothing giveaway, whatever was needed, she was there ready to serve and have a great time making friends along the way. She earned many awards and dedications for being such a sweet person and truly helping, not for bragging rights, but out of the goodness of her heart and soul.
Until Covid.
The person who had been a caregiver since she was 15 years old until she was 68 was now faced with a huge life change, she, nor our family expected. Isolation. Due to her independent living restrictions she could not get visitors as often out of fear of another senior member getting sick. She could not go out because everything was closed. She couldn't call Bingo on Mondays and Wednesdays at the senior center. She couldn't chase behind my little ones. She had no mental stimulation. Just her, the telephone and the "idiot box" that she called the tv. Her memory started to decline and when I noticed she would confuse my work hours with my hours from 3 years ago, I knew something was wrong. I would ask her constantly if she wanted to move in with us, at the time we lived in a bigger house, but due to her being so independent, she would always say no. But then her eyes began to decline, her apartments cleanliness, her dishes weren't clean and it would bring me to tears. She could no longer live by herself. She was taking too much medicine, forgetting she took it at night and it is dangerous to take too much insulin.
My husband and I moved her in with us and our 3 children, as we had our own challenges and had to move to a new apartment. Unfortunately, our apartment is a overpriced duplex 2 bedroom house, with loud neighbors, and our landlord is not the best, if you understand what I mean. But this was all we could get into at the time. My grandmother is currently sleeping in our living room as we have cameras throughout the house due to our little ones, but she needs a room. She needs her bed. She can no longer remember to take a shower daily so we have to guide her, she no longer remembers if she eats. As it progresses, she at times can be argumentative and mean to my children due to the constant noise children make, who love to watch anime and pretend to have sword fights. We are all on top of each other. I am scared that one day or night, she will walk this house and get lost.
So this is where I come to you, someone I don't know, not asking, not begging, but just explaining our situation to a empathetic ear.
She is my rock. She is my best friend. I intend to care for the person who cared for so many, family or not, strangers or not. It's her turn to to be cared for, and right now our living situation is not adequate for that.
We are hoping for enough, for a down payment on a decent sized house that is modest, but gives us enough room where we are comfortable and there is enough room for her to have a bedroom, and to be cared for with whatever supplies will be needed in the future.
She was the first person to hold me in this world and I intend to be the last person to hold her.
