Hello, everyone.
I'm not the type of person to use a platform like this, but we've exhausted all of our resources. And, unfortunately, this battle is far from over.
If you know us, then you probably have a good idea of what's been going on the last year in our family. I will include the Facebook post I made about it, as well, for those who do not.
I'd like to thank you, in advance, for taking the time to read our story.
From Facebook:
I've been trying to figure out how to put all of this into words in a way that makes sense.
I've got something to say and I'm going to make a lot of noise saying it. This post is public, I made it public so it could be shared. Please share it. Even if you don't know me, share it.
For those of you who do not know, I have been in a custody battle for my kids for the last year. I was made aware of allegations of severe physical abuse towards my children by someone they loved and trusted. I did everything I was told to do; file for emergency custody, order of protection, cut off communication, filed with the courts, got my kids a law guardian (whom they told everything to). My children were seeing a counselor regularly, they were enrolled in the school district here and doing homeschooling (we knew it wouldn't be safe for them to go to public school as this person who abused them could easily have just gone to the school and taken them), they had insurance and a pediatrician that they saw, as well. They were happy. They were safe and they knew it.
The current custody agreement (which, I may add, I was misled into signing) states that I have 35 days a year with my children. By not returning my children to their father last summer after hearing these allegations, I was in direct violation of that. My choices were to violate that order and keep my children safe until it was investigated or to follow the law and return my children to their worst fear. I, above all else, am a mother. I know my children well enough to know when they're scared.
The case up here in NY ended up being transferred down to TN (where the boys had resided). I knew at that exact moment we wouldn't win this battle. I've dealt with Tennessee family law before and, in my opinion, it's crooked to say the least. We had a court date on April 14th in TN which was rescheduled due to the judge having to attend a funeral. Rescheduled to May 8th. I was told 4 days before that I was ordered by the judge to attend in person. I kissed and hugged my children, with a knot in my stomach. This hearing was deciding whether or not to charge me with criminal contempt for violating the court order. I assumed I would get my chance to explain why, that I'm not a criminal, I'm a mother trying to protect her children. I was wrong.
This is all strictly my opinion, my experience.
From the moment I walked into that courtroom, I knew I was screwed. The judge told me I was holding my children hostage and had no right to do so. When he mentioned the abuse allegations, which was twice in passing, he used air quotes for the word abuse. I was put on the witness stand and mocked by the other partys lawyer. I tried to explain, I tried to respond but I was cut off. Told to answer yes or no and reminded that I'm facing 10 days in jail. The judge decided that I was not the best place for my children to be and ordered that I surrender them. I was told, originally, to go home and bring them back to TN by Wednesday at noon. My heart stopped. Then, the other partys lawyer felt I was too much of a risk to do that, said that the 13 hour drive would be a long time for me to fill the children's heads with things that could be considered parental alienation. His suggestion was to hold me in jail until the children were returned. The judge agreed. However, I was not held in jail. I was told to sit in the Justice center until my children's grandparents went to my house and took my children. I had to call my husband and tell him that we lost. I had to hear my son howl when he heard. They begged, they were terrified. I had to sit in the Justice center for three hours knowing what was happening, knowing if I took a wrong step, I'd be handcuffed and jailed immediately.
I think the judge was personally upset that I did not obey his court order from February 6th. I think he made an example of me. I think he was biased. It wasn't right. The state of Tennessee has proven to me and to countless others that they do not care about children. If I had been from Tennessee, I believe that hearing would have gone differently. The blatant disrespect, the mocking, the obvious relationship between judge and opposing lawyer. It's not right. This will do immeasurable damage to my children and no one cares. I care. I have made another report with DCS in TN.
I need to make as much noise as possible. I need this to get attention. I need help. My children are in definite danger and the state of Tennessee turned its back on them. My oldest will be old enough to make his own choice soon, but I cannot sit here knowing they're in pain, they're scared. That judge killed me when he did this. My heart is shattered. This is, by far, the worst pain I have ever experienced. I can't do this alone, I need help. Please. My babies need help.
Edit: I was told I am able to appeal the judges decision, however, the fact that I admitted under oath that I disobeyed the court order is willful criminal contempt. If I had lied under oath, they would have nailed me with that immediately. I don't have anything to hide, I don't have anything to lie about. I was well aware of what I was doing but, as I stated earlier, I assumed I would have a chance to explain why.
Edit #2: I just found out that, not only did I lose my kids, but my visitation has been suspended indefinitely.
Edit #3: In the state of Tennessee, courts are required to provide a written explanation of why awarding joint or sole custody to a specific parent is in the best interest of the children (https://www.findlaw.com/state/tennessee-law/tennessee-child-custody-laws.html). I'm now being told that that's an unacceptable request and that the judge doesn't have to explain anything.
Please share this.
Please message me.
Ask me to tell you the whole story from start to finish. Share that with everyone you know.
If you know me, you know the type of person I'm dealing with. Narcissists are hell.
God, please help us. Protect my children and keep them safe from harm, from spite, from malice, from revenge. Lift them up in your light and hold on tight.
It's not over.
❤️
As a family, we have been dealing with this situation for almost 10 years now. Children should never be used as pawns. They should never be punished for someone else's wrongdoing. If they speak, they should be listened to.
We have spent an absurd amount of money on multiple lawyers, consultations, trips to TN. Lawyers cost a lot of money, especially the ones who can actually help. On top of all the money we've already spent, we still have to come up with a way to pay the other party's attorney fees and to retain another lawyer. I've been told that this will be a long, expensive road and I'm ready. The boys deserve to feel safe and to be loved.
Thank you, again, for taking the time to read our story. And thank you for any donations, it means more to us than you could possibly know.
