Our Story
A little over a year ago, our lives changed in a way we never could have imagined. What had once been a happy, stable life quickly turned into a year of uncertainty, loss, and simply trying to survive.
My partner and I met 13 years ago when I came home to our hometown after my first year of college. We started out as good friends, but somewhere along the way, that friendship unexpectedly turned into something much deeper. We fell completely and unexpectedly in love. At the time, neither of us were looking for a relationship, especially since I had to return to college. But when you truly love someone, sometimes life has a way of making those plans for you. My partner eventually moved in with me, and while I finished my education, he helped support us and pay our bills.
After college, we made another huge decision together. We decided to leave the place we had both grown up and move about 20 miles away to what felt like our own little piece of paradise. I found a job before we moved, and although things were financially difficult for a while, we were determined to build a life together.
Eventually, my partner landed what we both considered his dream job. He had finally found an opportunity that gave us hope that the sacrifices we had made were beginning to pay off.
Then, just three months into that job, everything changed.
We started having strange arguments that didn't make sense to either of us. I couldn't understand why, and I had no idea that something much bigger was happening.
One afternoon, I couldn't get ahold of him. Later that night, I received a phone call that I will never forget.
My partner was in jail. He was overwhelmed and so upset that he could barely speak. Before hanging up, he told me, “I don't understand what I did, but I'm sorry I ruined everything.”
The next day, I bailed him out.
Only then did I learn that, just days before everything happened, he had asked my father for his blessing to marry me the week before.
Two days later, he lost his dream job.
From that moment forward, the life we had spent years building began to unravel.
Because of the ongoing legal matter, there are many details about what happened that we simply cannot discuss publicly. The case remains unresolved, and we have chosen to respect the legal process rather than speak publicly about allegations that we are not in a position to discuss.
What we can talk about is what happened to our lives afterward.
Since that day, we have experienced losses and hardships that we never imagined we would face:
My partner lost the career he had worked so hard for. Because of what happened and the way it was publicly shared, finding employment has been incredibly difficult.
We lost the financial stability we had worked so hard to create.
- He was unable to make the final payment on my $4,000 engagement ring—a ring that carries an especially painful meaning to us now because of what it represented before our lives changed.
- We lost our home and have spent periods moving between inexpensive, often unsafe hotels and, at times, even sleeping in our car because we simply couldn't afford anything else.
- I have continued working, but even that part of my life has changed. I feel that I am treated differently, and a position I had worked incredibly hard toward never came to me.
- Some of my partner's family members stopped speaking to him. People made judgments without first asking what had happened or hearing his side of the story.
- Some members of my own family began questioning and judging me for choosing to remain beside the person I love. That decision has come with consequences and painful experiences I never expected.
- During one of our stays at a hotel, I was physically attacked by another woman who appeared to be under the influence of drugs. It was another frightening experience during a time when we already felt completely vulnerable.
- We lost vehicles through repossession.
- We faced eviction from a rental home.
- Our credit has been severely damaged, making it extremely difficult to secure housing, replace what we've lost, or get back on our feet.
We aren't asking anyone to take sides in a legal matter. We aren't asking anyone to judge a situation they don't have all the details about.
We are two people who had jobs, a home, dreams, plans for our future, and a life we had spent years building together. In a matter of days, so much of that disappeared.
And now, more than a year later, we're still trying to rebuild.
