My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer for the first time in October of 1997 at 37 years old. I was 5 and my memory of the whole experience is quite limited. The day my mom got the call that she had a lump on her left side, she was riding the bus to school with me into first grade. The child of divorced yet loving parents, I spent a lot of time with my dad during that time. They insulated me from the painful reality and protected their kid as best they knew how. My mom finished chemotherapy in Fall of 1998 and after a full year of treatments, reconstruction surgeries, and radiation, that winter she was deemed cancer-free.
I remember we had a party for her 5-year anniversary, little did we know 2 years later in an annual mammogram they would find microcalcifications on the right side and she would have to fight again. It was a new primary, not a recurring metastasis and her second diagnosis with breast cancer was in 2005. I was 13 years old and a lot more aware of what was going on during this time. I assumed the role of her caretaker in her recovery, flushing her drains, cleaning the tubes that stuck out from her armpits, helping her around in a weakened state.
She lost all her hair with a more aggressive chemotherapy regime. Many nights we would sit together watching TV and I would style and spike her hair into a mohawks as the peach fuzz grew back. Her reconstruction was a DIEP flat done at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston. In this procedure, fat is harvested from your stomach and arteries are reconnected with microsurgery to create a breast mound and living tissue. The recovery process was a lot more intensive, 3-4 months and with the amount of blood loss she had, she became anemic and needed additional treatments to boost her white blood count. They cut everything out and biopsied the tissue they were taking out to ensure it was healthy before reconnecting it to create a bionic woman.
She has been in remission now for 20 years now and she continues to go every year for annual screenings. My mom is my best friend and I thank my Higher Power every day that she is still with me. I don’t know where I would be without her unconditional love, support & belief in me.
Following these events, I made the choice to get my own genetic testing done at 20 years old. BRCA1 is a harmful variant of a mutated gene that can be inherited from a parent. People who inherit harmful variants in either BRCA1 or BRCA2 genes have increased risks of several cancers, most notably breast and ovarian cancer, but also other types. People who are BRCA1 and BRCA2 positive also tend to develop cancer at younger ages. About 13% of women in the general population will develop breast cancer at some point during their lives. BRCA1 variants have an 85% risk for getting breast cancer and my testing revealed that, I was positive.
My family and I have lived the horrors cancer first and second hand. To anyone else who has or is going through a similar journey, I am truly so sorry. It's not fair that this is our thing, but it is in our power to make a choice about what we can do next. My mother is a 2x survivor. I have known about my genetic predisposition for over 10 years, now at 31, I have made the brave decision to move forward with a prophylactic double mastectomy in hopes to prevent this disease that has taken the lives of so many.
After being out for the last 6 years, 2 years of sobriety, 2 years of running my own, start-up business in a sustainable industry I am passionate about and a world of opportunity at my feet, it is at these cross-roads that I am once again making the proactive decision to put my health first.
Bodies are simply a vessel for the soul and regardless of where we come from and what our story is, we have autonomy and sovereignty over that. We can't control other peoples or outcomes, but we can choose to accept the cards that we are dealt with grace and take action towards doing the next right thing. My work in recovery has been about leaning into every part of my story and re-framing it into something gentler and more expansive and it has shown me that my voice and my vulnerability is my superpower. It is my hope that by sharing it in community it may heal some of the damaged parts of my family lineage associated with breast cancer, create visibility for individuals who are going flat, have BRCA1 and are seeking gender-affirming care and inspire others to take preventable, life-saving action when it comes to their health. This is something I've often taken for granted in my life, but without our heath we don’t have anything.
My surgery is scheduled for Feb. 13th, 2024 to have my breasts removed and I’m excited for the growth and the opportunity to show up in more of my wholeness and authenticity when it comes to fully embodying my sexuality, as well as go forward in all manners of my life without having to wonder if and when I might get cancer. It is a real gift today to be writing this and I humbly ask for your support as I recover as I will be out of work for 6-8 weeks. Thank you for reading this far and please know that any amount you can contribute, monetarily or energetically, is so incredibly valued and appreciated 💖
