I made the mistake of sharing this on Nextdoor. I have since removed post from there but realized that while it's uncomfortable to share all this, when asking for help, I should share the entire situation, so here it is.
My son moved to Florida after graduating from high school a couple years ago. He had gone through a devastating breakup and wanted a fresh start and new surroundings, so he moved in with my mother and stepfather. He was living with them when he passed away unexpectedly last November.
I flew to Florida immediately after his death and stayed for approximately two weeks, taking care of everything that needed to be done. Unfortunately, my stepfather and I have had a difficult relationship for some time. While I was there, I was not allowed onto their property, where my son had been living, nor was I given the opportunity to go through or collect any of his belongings.
I truly wish my mother and I could have gone through his room together while I was there. I think it would have been easier for both of us to go through his belongings together and I never wanted to place the burden of going through his things entirely on her.
For the next several months, I was under the impression my mother was packing Dante's belongings and would be mailing them to me. I was repeatedly told to make a list of the things I wanted and that they would be gathered and sent to me. One reason for the delay was that it was difficult for her to go into his room, which I completely understood. I still feel that going through his things together would have been better for both of us.
One of the most sentimental belongings for his sister and I, was his computer. Dante, his older sister Carmin, and I had built it together for his birthday using money my father left me when he passed away in 2021. Beyond the sentimental value of building it together, my son wrote music, and his music, photographs, videos, gaming recordings, and countless other pieces of his life were stored on that computer. His sister had only two specific requests for things to remember her brother by: his computer and his nutcracker collection. I just wanted to copy all the memories off the computer.
For months, I was given one excuse after another about the computer and his other belongings. Then I was told the computer was being repaired at a local computer store. I offered to repair it myself since I work on computers, or to pay for the repairs which I was told parts and labor were $320. Then I was told that my stepfather had checked Google about shipping and that was gonna cost between $75-150 to ship it to Colorado. I said that was fine, I would cover the cost whatever it was. My mother had been reminded numerous times that Carmin wanted her brothers computer and also of the extreme sentimental value it held.
Then Feb 25th, after being given the cost to ship it and agreeing to pay it, I asked about the computer again and was simply told, "Oh, we gave that to someone else."
That was when I felt I had no choice but to involve the probate court. I was concerned that my son's belongings were being distributed to other people before I had ever been given the opportunity to receive them.
My son was not married and had no children. His father has told me that he does not want any of our son's belongings and supports me handling his estate and bringing his things home. The probate proceedings have been ongoing since March, and on May 12th, the court ultimately gave me 90 days to retrieve his belongings.
That is where the August 12th deadline comes from. I did not wait until the deadline approached to try to make this happen. Within roughly the first 30 days, I saved enough money to purchase an inexpensive SUV for $3,200 that was large enough to bring everything home, along with enough additional money to make the trip to Florida.
Before attempting such a long drive, I took the vehicle to Pep Boys for an oil change and a 120 point inspection to make sure it was safe and ready for the trip. Unfortunately, something was left under the hood during that service, causing mechanical damage less than half a mile after I left the shop. That delayed the trip considerably and created expenses I had never anticipated.
My boyfriend and I eventually did make it to Florida, but despite our attempts to make contact while we were there, we were unable to reach my mother or stepfather. Apparently after the hearing, they decided to cut all communication with me. We ended up returning to Colorado without my son's belongings.
Yes, I have a court order, and I could have, and probably should have, raised hell while I was there. I can also file a motion with the court explaining what has happened and request additional time if that becomes necessary. However, I am still doing everything I can to handle this peacefully and cooperatively. Despite everything that has happened, I would much rather work with my mother than against her. I know that we are all deeply grieving the same tremendous loss.
I have reached out to different Florida Probate Attorneys as well as free legal help. Free legal help does not cover probate cases in Florida. In fact you can not claim indigence status for probate cases in Florida because they assume probate case means you are inherenting money and therefore can and should pay. That is not the case with this probate matter. My son's belongings have no monetary value to anyone else but his siblings and I.
I never expected to find myself asking strangers for help with something like this. My father and grandparents are gone, and because of the strained relationship with my mother and stepfather, I don't have family I can turn to for this. I am accustomed to figuring things out on my own and I don't ask for help because, quite simply, there isn't anyone to ask.
I really did try to figure this out on my own. I had a plan. I saved the money. I purchased a vehicle specifically so I could bring my son's belongings home myself. I made the trip to Florida and, counting the two weeks I spent there immediately after losing him, I have now traveled there twice trying to deal with everything surrounding his death and belongings.
Unfortunately, circumstances I could never have anticipated have left me here, asking for help. I find it degrading, embarrassing and I highly doubt anything or any help will come of it. Still I just keep praying for a miracle.
I lost my youngest son November 8, 2025 at only 20 years old. Dante's belongings are all that remain of my son. These are pieces of the short life he left behind. His music, his photographs, his personal things, and the memories attached to them are things that can never be replaced. To me every single piece of it is priceless and irreplaceable.
If you read this entire post, thank you from the bottom of my heart. If you have any suggestions, I am very open to any ideas.
I just want to bring my son's things home. 💜
