This is not easy and I'm uncomfortable even making this, I haven't much choice. I exhausted every other option already so here goes...
I have 2 boys with autism and ADHD and a newborn baby girl after a very unexpected pregnancy. William just turned 7 yrs old (he's level 2) and Jacob is 5 yrs old and non verbal(level 3). People don't want to hear about the negatives to caring for children with autism. They are wonderful beautiful boys and they are my world. We are in dire need of a bigger relible vehicle. Ours keeps dying on the road plus it's small. Our vehicle can't hold a infant car seat and a booster and a 5 point harness seat. So we rarely can go places all 5 of us. I stay home most of the time with the baby. Unless one or both the boys are in school. We have 2 booster seats to use when no choice. Jacob doesn't stay in it ,I lean over the arm rest many times to keep him in. I have a belt connector but not much help. Driving like that isn't safe so we don't do it unless no option. His 5 point harness carseat fits fine with 1 other carseat . Cullman doesn't have school busses so this is their only means to and from school. They have been late a few times recently when it dies on the way.
Like most people we are behind on bills because of high costs. Which is why we can't just go lease a van. Special needs children have a ton of extra costs. Things you wouldn't think about. For example,just the extra water and electric from incontinence hurts our bill. One accident is a whole load and happens often. Jacob has PICA, the need to chew on things and chews holes in his clothes. I've had to replace them often. Their dr copays were 40 and 50 bucks each time. (Just got them medicaid in October thank goodness)I got another credit card out earlier this year just for groceries, pull ups and necessities which is now maxed.
It's ridiculous how much things costs now. I had my daughter prematurely at the end of August and had pre-eclampsia. She was in the nicu the first 2 weeks and I was in and out for high bp (208/127😱) Her daddy took off from work no pay the first month and then intermediate fmla the 2nd. So now mortgage from September and October still past due. Everything is past due. My credit score has went down astronomically the past few months. I have sent emails and messages to local churches and the couple that replied just gave me information to other places and they do the same 😔 my emails and text messaging go off many times a day from sites I've gone to for debt help. They just send you to more or places to get insurance.🫤 These magical grants don't exist.
Writing all this and baring our troubles is embarrassing but I don't know what else to do. We aren't doing gifts for Christmas which is fine it's just not being able to do the festivities that bother me. Everytime we get in the car I wonder will it even start... then I get stressed at all the things that will happen when it quits for good. No way to school or work. I hate that we can't go places together. I hate that i can't afford a communication device for Jacob. Or extra therapy for them both. The schools aren't enough. I constantly feel like I'm failing as a mother. Everything is happening at once. Our bathroom flooded 2 days ago when I was doing laundry because the pipes got back up from so many loads I guess. It had no place to go so the bath tub and toilet was were it came out. The kids had a growth spurt so all their winter clothes are too small. I shop second hand and have been selling things and having yard sales. Doing what i can to make extra money. I'm pretty frugal. Things just keep piling up. My parents and grandparents have been dead for many many years so I have no one to go to for help. The kids grandparents help with what they can but they are retired and barely cutting it too. I don't want to lose our house and yard, that would mess with the kids epically. But if something doesn't give it will happen. We need a miracle. I've been asking if anyone wants to trade cars with us. We have a 2011 Nissan Rouge around 140k miles but no one is interested. Can't blame them. I really don't know if anything will come of this but I have to try, right? I love my kids, they are a true blessing and seeing the world threw their eyes is truly amazing. This is a small part of our story and I wouldn't want to be anyone else's mommy, things are just hard right now... So I guess I'm asking, hoping and praying for a miracle.
