An emotionally abusive relationship brought me to VA from NYC under false pretenses 10 years ago. I’ve been enduring covert narcissistic abuse for 25 years. When you come from an abusive & neglectful family, it becomes very difficult to detect maltreatment. It was only when I began educating myself on narcissistic abuse that I realized what was happening.
I'm very, very isolated. My mother died 10 years ago, i haven't seen my father since I was 16 and my brother, who abused me, threatened to kill me the last time I spoke with him.
My mother's side of the family blames me for her death (I "dared", at the age of 34, to finally live my own life & left her with services intact, which my brother dismantled without telling me) & I've always been invisible to my father's side of the family. Too shy. Too dark. Too poor. I am quite literally alone with the exception of a kind person or two.
Living in VA, where ICE arrests are up 470% & I was given the finger for attending a peaceful rally holding a sign that says, "Hate will not make us great", feels wildly unsafe right now. Ive been diagnosed with CPTSD because of the years of abuse I've endured and literally cannot stop working because I have no sick days or health insurance. You dont get those when you're self employed, but I started my business when I thought I was with someone who at the very least wouldn't undermine it. I was very wrong.
I've literally dedicate my entire life to helping people. In my 51 years of living I've never asked for help. I just persisted in my quiet way. I dont have much persistence left. Im old. Im exhausted. Im traumatized. Im alone.
PLEASE help me get back home.
