🌿 Help My Wife — A Proverbs 31 Woman — Through a Perfect Storm We Never Saw Coming
(Written by her husband of 26 years)
For 26 years, I’ve been married to a Proverbs 31 woman.
My wife rises early, works late, serves others, and carries more than most people could bear. She has always been the backbone of our home due to my disabilities, and the engine of our livelihood. She is the kind of woman who gives a hand-up, but never has her hand out herself.
She would never ask for help.
So I’m asking for her.
Not because of pride.
Not because she’s unwilling.
But because she has always believed in earning her way, serving others, and carrying her share and mine when life demanded it.
And for nearly two decades, we did exactly that.
We built a successful home‑based business, operated debt‑free, paid every vendor in advance or on delivery, and lived by stewardship principles we took seriously.
Then COVID lockdowns hit — and everything changed.
We were just beginning to pull our business out of the ashes with a pivot into new services and new technologies when a perfect storm hit our home. Not over decades. Not over years. But all within the last 18 months — and the most severe blows in just the last few months.
🌿 The Four Crises That Hit Us in 18 Months
- Both of Her Lungs Collapsed (Recent Months)
My wife spent two months in the hospital and two more recovering at home after both of her lungs collapsed. Today, she is tied to a home oxygen machine. She cannot stand or walk without human assistance. She lives and sleeps in a lift recliner because lying flat is no longer possible.
And yet… she works.
Nearly every waking hour, she works from that recliner, rebuilding our business on her laptop. Many mornings, I find her asleep with her head resting on the closed lid — having worked until her body simply gave out.
- We Lost 18 Months of Earned Commissions Overnight
During the COVID recovery period, we earned 18 months of commissions that were deferred while the partner business who owed us rebuilt — income we were counting on — but when the partner company went bankrupt, everything vanished. It was a devastating financial blow we never saw coming.
- I Was Diagnosed With a New Cancer (Recent Months)
Then I was diagnosed with a new cancer. My wife became my advocate, and my strength. She took on my responsibilities and hers — for our home and our business — while I went through surgery and weeks of radiation. Although she is no longer able to stand or walk without assistance, she managed my medications and treatment schedule, woke me to keep to the schedule having to set an alarm and interrupt her own much needed sleep. She managed all my medical appointments and insurance claims. She continued rebuilding our business constantly working without complaint on her laptop.
She took everything off my shoulders that she was capable of doing -- mostly the worry about things falling through the cracks.
- Now My Kidneys Are Failing (Right Now)
My kidneys are failing fast. My doctor says I must begin dialysis soon. But for the first six weeks, I will be physically unable to lift my wife or help her stand — something she cannot do alone.
We have no family in-state.
Our friends work and have children.
Insurance will not cover the 24/7 care she needs during that time.
🌿 This Isn’t the First Time We’ve Faced Cancer — But the Roles Are Reversed
More than a decade ago, I battled liver cancer and underwent a transplant with complications. My wife never left my side. She nursed me through a long, grueling recovery. She carried our home and our business for nearly two years until I was strong enough to resume life.
Back then, she was healthy and mobile — and she shouldered everything without complaint.
Today, despite my own serious health challenges, I have become her caregiver by choice. It gives me purpose and strengthens my resolve to fight to get well so I do not fail her. And even now — oxygen‑dependent and unable to stand or walk without assistance — she again carries the full burden of rebuilding our business, coordinating our in‑home medical services, managing online grocery orders, and doing everything she can from her recliner to make my life easier while I fight to get well.
And by God’s grace and her tireless perseverance, she has rebuilt nearly 95% of our business from that recliner. It is only a few short weeks away from launching — and once it does, it should begin sustaining us again.
But we have to survive these next few weeks to reach that point.
🌿 Why I Can’t Start Dialysis Yet — Even If Care Were Funded Today
Beginning dialysis is not immediate.
It requires:
- additional medical evaluations
- insurance approvals
- home setup and safety checks
- 2–3 weeks of supervised training by a dialysis nurse
Realistically, dialysis is about thirty days away even under ideal conditions.
And if we cannot secure the six weeks of caregiving my wife will need during that time, then I will have no choice but to delay my start date — a health risk, but one I would take if it meant not leaving her without the help she needs to stand, walk, or stay safe.
- But keeping a roof over our heads, food on the table, insurance active, and the lights on cannot wait thirty days. The bills have piled up despite my wife's tireless efforts to keep them paid.
What was due one month doubles the next month if skipped. Watching how she has successfully juggled the bill payments from one month to the next has been daunting to watch.
But then came the unexpected 33% increase in her critically needed health insurance, the unexpected special assessment and dues increase from our homeowner association, and an unexpected car repair -- just enough to tip the scales beyond what can be juggled.
Seeing this strong, resilient woman break also broke me. Overwhelmed, overworked and fatigued, she asked for my forgiveness for failing me--something she has never done!
As I talked her off the ledge, she confessed that she was guilt-ridden about having to favor one creditor over another and leaving some unpaid until the next cycle and finally some having to be skipped altogether.
I reminded her how we got here: - collapse of our debt-free19-year old business due to the pandemic lockdowns,
- her collapsed lungs and a two-month hospital stay,
- My cancer diagnosis and failing kidneys,
- 18 months of thousands of dollars of deferred commissions we were had earned gone with the bankruptcy of the debtor
- then unexpected expenses . . . 33% health insurance rate hike, HOA dues increase and special assessment, a car repair . . .
It was momentary. She is a "half-full glass" person. As I held her, I reminded her that God always sees us through each crisis, each challenge we are faced with.
But this is when I knew I needed to step in and why I am here telling you our story.
That is why our immediate need is not the caregiver — it is catching up and stabilizing our home long enough to reach the point where dialysis can safely begin.
🌿 This is why We Need $8,500 Right Now
This is not a handout.
This is a bridge — the amount required to stabilize our home so we don’t fall into a deeper crisis before I can safely begin dialysis.
The $8,500 will:
- catch up essential bills (housing, utilities, insurance)
- cover out‑of‑pocket medical expenses (co‑pays, co‑insurance, uncovered needs)
- preserve the vital business tools my wife relies on
- provide basic living needs
- keep our household from collapsing while she continues rebuilding the business
This amount gives us the breathing room we need to survive the next few weeks.
It keeps the bottom from falling out.
It keeps us from losing everything we’ve fought to hold together.
🌿 If God Provides Beyond That — Our Stretch Goal Is $18,000
If God moves hearts beyond the $8,500, the additional funds will allow us to cover the six weeks of 24/7 caregiving my wife will need while I begin dialysis — care insurance will not cover.
This will:
- ensure my wife is safe while I recover
- allow me to begin dialysis without fear
- give her the support she needs to continue working
- help her relaunch the business she has been rebuilding from her lift recliner
- provide stability so we don’t fall right back into crisis
This is the “finish the race” portion — the part that helps us move from survival to stability.
🌿 Why I Believe in My Wife
My wife has spent her life lifting others up.
She has served, given, worked, and persevered through storms that would have crushed most people.
She is a Proverbs 31 woman in every sense:
“…she works with willing hands… she provides for her household… she is clothed with strength and dignity…”
I’m asking for help so she can finally rest, recover, and rebuild — without sacrificing her health to do it.
🌿 If You Feel Led to Give
Your support will make an immediate, life-changing difference.
It will help my wife breathe easier — literally and figuratively.
It will keep her from pushing herself into another medical crisis.
It will allow me to begin dialysis safely.
It will preserve the tools she needs to rebuild our livelihood.
And it will remind her that she doesn’t have to carry this alone.
Thank you for reading our story.
Thank you for praying.
And thank you for helping my wife — my wife of 26 years — through a storm we simply cannot outwork on our own.
