December 30th of 2022, I fell victim to a pretty serious domestic incident. I was hospitalized with two brain bleeds, a broken nose, two black eyes, a shattered right orbital socket, a fractured foot, and extensive amount of bruising over my entire body. I had an emergency surgery where they placed a metal plate along with three screws in my face to mimic the flooring of my orbital socket to keep my eyeball in place. I was in the hospital from December 30th to January 3rd before they believed I was stable enough to go home. I was home for roughly 10 days, before I ended up with a terrible migraine (so bad it muffled my hearing to the point I couldn't hear myself talking let alone my mother in the same room) and I was profusely vomiting. I got taken by ambulance back to the ER and was kept there from January 13th (my birthday) to the 15th. When I first arrived they were fearful my brain bleeds were getting worse or that I possibly had meningitis because I had an abnormally high WBC count indicating an infection. With me just having a surgery done on my face so recently, they were worried that my surgical wounds had gotten infected and traveled to my brain. They ended up doing a spinal tap and that thankfully concluded it wasn't meningitis. They then diagnosed it as Post Concussive Syndrome from overstimulating my brain, because its hard for me to sit and rest as I normally lived in Go Mode. That hospital stay made me realize I really needed to let my body rest and recover before I cause more damage than there already was. I just recently got cleared to go back to work in March, a mere 3 months after my traumatic brain injury, but that didn't last long. I was there maybe two or three weeks before I had to met with the facial surgery people and they noticed the plate they put in was restricting my eye muscle causing decreased movement and double vision. Within three days of that appointment they had me scheduled for surgery to shift the plate. That second surgery was just done on the Friday of March 24th. That took me out of work for another month before I was then again cleared to go back to work. Since I still have to take it slow, easy, and lightly I'm lucky if I can work more than 20 hours in a week without running myself ragged, which is nowhere near the 35 hours I was working each week before the whole incident. I hate being out of work and this kills me that I've fallen so far behind on my priorities in life due to the harsh reality of domestic abuse. Now having to be extremely careful not to overstimulated myself, I feel like a bum to be completely honest and it puts a damper on my view of myself... I started working at 15 and kept that job till I was 21. I have had a few miscellaneous side jobs here and there, but my first was my main. I even started managing the restaurant at 17. I was the child that bought their first car with their own money, paid my parents for my phone bill and whatever else to help them out when needed, paid for my own wants and needs because it felt more worthwhile cause I worked hard to earn what I had. I've been stuck with endless medical bills from everything they had to do to keep me alive. From endless CT scans to multiple surgeries (which insurance won't cover one of them because they claim it wasn't done in the right place by the right type of doctor from it being done as an emergency surgery) each passing day brings more and more bills that I can't pay. Bills that are being sent to collections and destroying my credit score in the process... This keeps me from being unable to save any type of money to be able to move out of the apartment the domestic assault took place in, so I'm forced to relive that moment of my life again and again. Each room a different flashback, but still hurts just the same as the next. Then needing to get into theraoy on top of it all has just made my life a neverending ball of stress no matter which way I look at it all. I hate asking for help because I grew up having to solve all my life's problems on my own, so why would I have anyone who'd wanna help me now if they didn't when I was a child, is how I e always looked at it.. So if I'm being honest, writing this post I feel ever so worthless, but I can't just keep falling deeper and deeper into this dark hole of debt, bills, and despair... I've gotta learn to swallow my pride and actually ask for help. So this is that. This is the girl who always did everything on her own, never asking for another one's help because she doesn't wanna feel like a burden to them, reaching out and actually asking for help! If you've taken the time to read this I highly appreciate it! If you could help out in any way, shape, or form whether it be monetary help or even advice from past experiences that would help me in the long run for a better life would also be highly appreciated and you will forever have my gratitude! I will owe it to each and everyone of you once I'm able to get back on my feet and into a steady and stable lifestyle again! Once again thank you for taking the time to read this and thank you for all of your help!
Much love,
Brianna Rose<3
