Update:
I am going to have to sell. The damage from Beryl equates to $110k which leaves me with no equity from this house. The lawsuit against my homeowners insurance is still in negotiations. So, anything raised here will go towards gas for my new home? Just kidding. We are going to have to figure out where to live immediately, so any money raised will go towards whatever that solution is. I do have a potential buyer for this home to beat the foreclosure. I'm exhausted.
SHORT VERSION:
My ex husband stopped paying what he agreed to in the divorce decree and sent everything into a spiraling motion to foreclosure. Unfortunately, he is the only one who can get me out of it, not with money, but his signature. He won't. Empathy has never been his strong point. I am trying to bring the loan current to keep my home and not need his signature. I never thought I'd be in a position of losing my home when I am able to make the payments, but here I am.
LIFE STORY:
probably tmi, trauma dump and however else you want to label it. You have been warned.
I am usually the one helping and asking for help is definitely not my strength unless you are my mom. But, my adult life has honestly been a bit tough, and I'm trying hard to find peace.
Essentially, this is my timeline. Things started going wrong when in Jan 2020 I was taken by ambulance in respiratory failure. I had the alpha strain (the really bad one) of COVID which nearly took my life and I spent weeks in the hospital. It did quite a bit of damage to my body and I was unable to keep working. It took me years to recover and able to return to work. I also have Sjogrens syndrome (similar to lupus), rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, inappropriate sinus tachycardia and POTS (likely from COVID) that delayed my healing. I was finally feeling better and had been applying to projects with a company I had previously worked for.
By this point my ex had remarried and decided to take me to court to modify our decree terms. In other words, he wanted to terminate his obligations that he went agreed on because he didn't want to anymore. The agreement in the decree was that he would pay child support through college. These terms were 100% set by him and we both agreed to them and the judge signed off on them. These terms were made knowing my health was up and down and purposely done to cover the mortgage. His modification request was dismissed with prejudice. So, he instead just stopped paying the child support in January 2024 without a word or warning. Court orders seem to be optional these days. Ashlyn is still in college, so he should still be paying per the decree.
I made it to December of 2024 making payments, but then there was no money left. Unfortunately, the court cases stirred up severe PTSD trauma in me from the abuse in our marriage and I was having nightmares every single night. The Drs kept throwing more meds at me to try to help the anxiety, PTSD and financial stress. Despite all of the meds, I was stuck in fight or flight for months and it was awful. Then, hurricane Beryl hit our home during this same time. The insurance company denied my claim and we still have a large hole in our roof and water and mold damage as I wait for my lawsuit against them to pay out. I ended up extremely sick during this time and it took 5 specialists to finally diagnose me with serotonin syndrome from all of the meds I was taking trying to cope. I did what I could to get healthy(EMR therapy is amazing) and then I went out and got my health and life license, AHIP certification for Medicare and currently work at WTW in three different roles.
During this time, my house went into foreclosure status from the missed payments and they would not accept anything but the full amount. My homeowners insurance also went from 5k to 10k because, well, there is a huge hole in my roof because they denied my claim. I was finally able to get modification this month from the loan company to start paying again now that I've been working and unfortunately I need my ex's signature for the modification. His name was on the loan still and he said it wasn't an issue when we divorced. I guess I thought that since he created this situation in the first place by going against the decree, he is a Christian Pastor and his child lives with me that it shouldn't be an issue to sign it. It is and he refuses to sign. I was so ready to put this chapter behind me and sleep well again. That's not going to happen.
My credit is obviously destroyed due to the missed payments and I would not be able to get a loan or rental. My house has a hole in it which is not a good time to sell financially, plus they are still doing inspections for the lawsuit. So, my only option is to try to bring it current so I don't need his signature and I can continue the current loan as is. This is a huge ask, but you never know until you try. My home is my safe space as a homebody as well as my place of work. I don't like to give up, and I don't like to fail without trying everything.
Also, if I have skipped messages, not been in touch, ignored friend requests-I have been under this silent stress as well as battled pneumonia for 3 months from Nov-Jan and have really been in survival mode. I promise it's not personal. I'm just a super private person and mostly keep to myself. Only one friend knew. But now, the world will know, and I am going into hiding now. I know it's long, but thank you for taking the time to read. Prayers are also appreciated.
