Dear friends, 

I’m single, turning 40, make barely enough money to live on, and have no retirement plan. Huzzah! BUT I’ve decided I’m finally doing it: I’m attempting to realize my life-long dream of going to Costa Rica and proposing to a sloth! (j/k I’ll just feed them carrots and give them an awkward hug). 

As many of you know, I single-handedly started our culture’s sloth-craze in 2002, during the simple days of the young and innocent internet, when it was just about cats and their unending desire for cheeseburgers. Though sloths have been my spirit animal since I was 3 years old and saw one for the first time at the zoo.

If the near-apocalyptic recent years have taught me anything, it’s that you have to (very slowly) chase your dreams. Because in 5 years we might all be living in The Handmaid’s Tale where women won’t be allowed to go on airplanes to pet sloths in the rainforest anymore! 

So I’ve created this crowdfunding page to invite you to help sponsor my dream of traveling to Costa Rica, and hugging as many sloths as possible before the rest of the rainforest is destroyed by mankind. 

I’ve decided to travel to Costa Rica the third week of April, so the due date for me to raise enough funds is April 14th. Plane tickets cost $987.41, and Air BnB will cost $267 for me to stay in the rainforest for a week (hopefully with several sloths hanging out right outside my window). This is a purely selfish endeavor, though you can be assured I plan to rescue as many sloths from roads and powerlines as humanly possible. That being said, even if you can only donate $1 or $5 to help me live my dream, that will be enough to earn my eternal gratitude.

Love you all! 

-Kaelin