*DarkDays

Help us get Justice for Jerry the Guzzler. On Saturday September 18th, Guz spent a quiet evening in the desert wilderness with a few close friends and family. He was drinking what he thought was a healthy bottled juice - 99 Bananas. Around 10pm, Guzzler excused himself from the board game and walked about 50 yards away from the group. He thought he heard a donkey in distress, lost his footing, fell, and became unconscious. Guzzler was found unresponsive a few minutes later and was rushed to the ER where he SHOCKINGLY had a blood alcohol level three times the normal limit. The EKG and MRI told us that he was drunk. Really drunk. When the doctors asked what he was drinking he told them, 99 Bananas. Guz was told that he was one of many unsuspecting victims of the 99 Bananas scheme that have had similar unfortunate experiences. We CANNOT allow another person to piss themselves due to the false advertising of 99 Bananas. After a full work up, our fearless Guzzler has done it again. He over indulged in alcoholic beverages of all sorts, 99 bananas, Fireball, beer, Smirnoff ice and Truly popsicles just to name a few. Now you can see this predicament. How will he continue to pay for alcohol with all these medical bills hanging over his head? Let’s rally together to show him how much we love him and his love for drinking and let’s help get these bills paid so he can continue to drink himself to oblivion. Remember, he’s not here for a long time but he’s here for a good time! We love you, Guz! Guzzler’s family is asking for your donations. They will use this money to help cover his medical expenses, and to purchase all 99 Bananas shooters in our neighborhood. In lieu of direct monetary donations, you can help by clearing the shelves of 99 Bananas in your local store and mail them to: 
Justice for Jerry
25641 N 93rd Ave 
Peoria, Arizona 85383