My name is Samantha, and the beautiful girl with me is Ava, my beautiful and intelligent 17 year old daughter...the light of my life. I never thought I'd have to come to a place to need to do this ..but I have to. I'll tell you about us and keep it brief.
I've had severe health problems for several years following an ulcer that burst, perforated my stomach and bowels, made me septic and left me on ECMO. A trip to Shands is being rescheduled to find out what is going on...and hopefully that means finally some relief, some answers.
In order to keep my baby in her school, with me, I moved somewhere I thought would truly prove wonderful with someone I really trusted...and all of it was wrong. The abuses dealt with have changed me, irrevocably...and to keep my daughter from enduring any longer...especially when my mental health has deteriorated greatly in recent months...I have to be brave enough to go. I have to be brave enough to let go and take a leap of faith...believe in myself to be everything she needs and deserves me to be. And she needs to be safe. There is no safety...no home...not here...and in my heart of hearts I can't watch what this life we are living is doing to her any longer, nor can she bear what it's done to me...
And because I am sick she stands by my side, working extra hours...tending to my wounds....being absolute love always...and for the life of me....I don't want the life I chose to destroy her beauty any longer. It's time to be brave. It's time to get out. It's time to stop being so withdrawn from everything because I've learned to believe I have no value....
I am asking for help... to secure a home for us. The move we need to make. Essentially starting over. I have to rapidly come up with first, last, deposit, utilities...the rest I know she and I can manage...we desperately need a jump. The events of the last month have been the hardest yet...and I can no longer make excuses nor can I sit and hope it will get better. There is no and never will be no better here. Only pain...only the destruction of who we are and everything that makes us such a wonderful duo.
I'm embarrassed to have to....and I know times are hard for everyone...I am out of options. Please share this with who you can and please help Ava and I get as gone as we can as fast as we can from this nightmare.
Much love and bless you for simply reading 💜
