Bring My Babies Home

I have been suffering for more than 3 years being married to a Narcissist.  Staying only to protect my children.  I didn't care what happened to me, but they were my priority, When the abuse began on the children and I it was strictly emotional.  Name calling and tearing everyone down.  The kids were called "Stupid" "Retarded" "Lazy" "Fat" my list could go on and on.  I was told I was a terrible mother and didn't know how to discipline or raise self-sufficient kids. Making me feel unloved, alone and worthless was his goal. Expected to Cook and clean while working a full time Job and make sure every appointment was attended and kids sporting events were watched.  Grocery shopping was completed and taking care of him in many ways.  This was expected.   When the physical abuse started on myself, I just took it. From being shoved down to being pushed out of the way to being forced to perform sexual acts so I didn't suffer from the emotional and physical abuse. He made sure I knew that if I called the police, I would be the one in trouble not him.  He said he would take the kids, and I would never see them again.  The kids started getting physically abused not long after, not just a spanking.  Making my 4yr old eat off the floor because she couldn't sit still to throwing her on her bed by an arm because she couldn't do something fast enough.  The abuse got to the point that my son from a previous relationship became suicidal and was hospitalized.  I tried to shift the abuse of the kids onto myself so many times I can't count.   DHS has been involved multiple times, but nothing ever happens.  He can manipulate anything and anyone.  The night he raised his hands to me in front of my kids was the last straw.  I called 911 and that's when he was able to convince the police, (as promised so many times before) that I was the problem.  Even though through all the Belittling and name calling I remained silent just taking it.  Even though I never laid a hand on him and with video proof.  I went to jail.  Charged with a Simple Misdemeanor of Domestic Violence Criminal Offense.  Protection Order was put in place, and my two children were kept in his custody. I have since called DHS again; they have done nothing.  I have filed a civil Protection Order that the police refuse to follow.  I lost my job and have no money for an attorney.  I have tried Legal Aide, but they have said it is too much for them they don't have the manpower.  I was denied a court appointed attorney as well.  I am at a loss.  Every attorney wants a retainer that I simply do not have 3-5,000 dollars.  I am homeless with my 12year old staying with friends.  I have filed for divorce on my own as well.