My name is Clayton , and I'm recovering from a series of mental health crises that progressively led to homelessness, unemployment and financial destitution.
As part of my recovery, I'm shifting the focus of my professional life away from a career in IT toward one in the creative arts. I'm doing so because I'm seeking a deeper alignment between what I do to make a living and how I believe I am called to serve in the world.
I did pursue a creative career from 2003-2008, but because of underlying psychological issues that I left unaddressed, I did not persevere, but instead returned to what was safe instead of remaining in what was fruitful. I'm finding my courage to return to my vocation in the creative arts.
This current in-between time is what I would describe as a November in my life. It isn't the first, and perhaps will not be the last, but somehow this liminal time seems different, pivotal, and laden with hope.
I'm inviting a few generous souls to sustain me as I wait in this season between foliage and flurries. Thanks for considering this invitation.
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More details of my personal story:
I’ve been underemployed since February of 2025, when I left my corporate job in order to recover my mental health. At that time, I had been homeless for eight months already - living in my car or in cheap hotels, showering at the gym at 5 am and then putting in 10 hour days at my corporate job. Rinse & repeat.
No one at work knew this was going on, and only a couple of family members and friends were aware. I didn’t want anyone to know or to bother. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to make it through the long darkness I was in.
But I finally resolved not to give up and am slowly picking up the pieces from my long spiral into darkness. Part of it was not fully grieving the loss of two of my best friends, Christopher Anderson and Jen Messing, who died in late 2022 and late 2023, respectively. Part of it was not dealing with childhood sexual abuse I experienced at the age of four. Part of it was simply a lack of resilience and not looking to God when things seemed beyond hope.
Christopher and Jen - November 29, 2019
All of this put me in financial crisis.
On a positive note, I was able to make some money as a DoorDash and Shipt driver. I was in weekly therapy from May through November of 2025; I've now slowed the cadence to twice monthly because I can't afford this out-of-pocket expense every week. I’ve had a very inexpensive place to rent in Los Angeles since December 2025. And I’ve reconnected with a lot of family and friends since the start of my recovery.
Moving to Los Angeles and a new beginning: Doxaweb Studios
In late 2025, I discerned a return to Los Angeles to resume my pursuit of a career as a writer and to serve as a missionary in the spiritual slums of Hollywood. Honestly, ever since the fires erupted in December of 2024 in LA, I have felt a strong call to return. I think I feel a certain identification and sense of hope in witnessing the charred ruins of the neighborhoods of Pacific Palisades and Malibu… knowing that, with God's grace, new life can emerge from ashes, purified and with renewed purpose.
I’m so grateful to be alive, and to be alive in a sense that is entirely new to me. I think often of the mysterious words of Jesus recorded in John 12:24: “unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” Perhaps I’m beginning to understand those words from within my own experience. In a sense, I never was alone, but it is now clearer to me every day. What a gift. It provides new shades of meaning to all I have experienced, and new appreciation for all my past relations with family, friends and colleagues… even with those I have found difficult to love.
I moved back to Los Angeles in December 2025, and found an inexpensive place to live with a friend of a friend. It's a 10' x 7' tiny home in a quiet Los Angeles neighborhood... sort of like glamping with access to running water and a kitchen in a neighboring house. I am calling the place "Doxaweb Studios," as it is not only where I live but I have made it into a functional workspace as well.
I look forward to the next chapter of this adventure, wherever it leads. And I’m grateful for all the contours, turns and even misdirections of my past.
What am I currently planning?
Substack publications (https://doxaweb.substack.com)
I have started a Substack which allows me to monetize subscriptions to the things I write/publish, and I also offer listeners to my podcast a way to support that work. One of my publications is a successor to the blog I have maintained for the past 22 years, The Weight of Glory. The other is Saint Judas, a Substack publication I will be using to post multimedia in support of a novel-writing project that has been in development since 2002. The fictional narrative is based on my experiences in a 1990's Catholic seminary... it's part Doubt, part Dead Man Walking, and part Peanut Butter Falcon. If I successfully produce a novel, I will then consider adapting it for the screen.
Website design and podcasting
I'm currently helping build out a website for a friend who is running for a Senate seat in Minneapolis.
I am also working to migrate another friend's website from Wordpress to Substack to accommodate their educational initiative, which includes weekly recorded presentations about the Catholic faith. I am taking these recordings, editing them and publishing them to a podcast titled Mystagogy:
https://mystagogy.buzzsprout.com
This summer, I will be proposing a website expansion project to the City of Malibu to help victims of the fires to connect with people willing to help them in their time of need. This project will be pro bono, but will be good for my UX design portfolio, as it will involve user research, database development, creation of wireframes and high-fidelity prototypes, setting up analytics to measure the effectiveness of the site, and collecting survey feedback in order to improve the site at the end of the calendar year.
Voiceover work
I have often been told I have a face for radio but a voice for television and film. So I'm finally pursuing work as a voiceover artist. There are a lot of opportunities listed in daily emails from the Backstage.com platform. I plan to obtain a paid annual account for $80 that will unlock additional features. Voiceover work can pay well and is something I think I will enjoy.
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In the meantime, I have monthly bills to attend to and I have less than $10 dollars in liquid assets (including lines of credit). I've given away and sold my furniture in anticipation of a simpler, more mendicant lifestyle in keeping with my lifetime profession as a Secular Franciscan. I've also sold my iPad and my Apple Watch in pursuit of solvency and a smaller digital footprint.
I’ve already received generous loans and funds from more than 60 people in a GoFundMe campaign that I initiated in the fall of 2025. I am closing that campaign now in order to focus not on recovery from the past, but building for the future. That is why I am setting up this fundraiser today.
The total amount I’m looking to raise here in order to repay debts and loans, and sustain me through June of 2026, is $12,000, so I can turn this financial ship around.
I have engaged with a debt settlement company to handle my larger creditors (credit card companies) and I will detail some of these expenses in a post soon, but today I just wanted to sketch the broad contours of what I am attempting to do here.
If you are interested in supporting my work as a writer and missionary in the spiritual slums of Hollywood, please consider a paid subscription to one of my Substack publications.
Or make a donation to support my C.S. Lewis-themed podcast, The Weight of Glory. I'm planning a new season of my podcast this summer on the theme of friendship, including a close examination of The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis.
Thanks in advance for your consideration.
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If you want to know more about my budget and how I plan to be spending this money, I'd be more than happy to share those details one-on-one with you. Reach out to me via email or LinkedIn if this is of interest to you. I value transparency and accountability, and am seeking to align my finances with the principles I have learned from Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University.
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“The world seeks freedom in the accumulation of possessions and power. It forgets that the only people who are truly free are those who have nothing left to lose. Despoiled of everything, detached from everything, they are “free from all men” and all things. It can be truly said that their death is already behind them, because all their “treasure” is now in God and in him alone.”
Jacques Philippe, Interior Freedom
