Are we ever prepared for the death of a loved one? Even if we know that the efforts being made are merely to gain an extra month or year? What happens when it unexpectedly happens even sooner than that? Or when it happens in the middle of another chaotic family medical event?
As I shared before, my cousin Liz and Matt Sallese's daughter, Melanie went in for a potentially life saving bone marrow transplant procedure back in the fall. Long hospital stays, chemotherapy, missing a whole 2nd grade school year filled with friends and "normal" childhood experiences. All in hopes that this will be worth it. Matt, all the while, battling Stage 4 pancreatic cancer with his own chemotherapy and hospital stays. So many people pulled together and donated to help go towards medical bills, groceries, gas to get back and forth from the different hospitals, living expenses and even helped Melanie get her long awaited furry companion...Claire Bear the puppy!
Melanie has been doing relatively well. She has a Central Line in still, she goes to the Dana Farber Jimmy Fund clinic regularly and still cannot attend school in person because of her weakened immune system. Matt on the other hand had been constantly in and out of the hospital with other complications. Melanie started her New Year with an ominous feeling in her belly. She told her Mom "I'm getting very bad vibes about this year." Matt had been back in the hospital fighting bacterial pneumonia and then back in again, having huge amounts of fluid drained from around his heart. Once this was all under control, he would start another round of chemo.
On February 11th, Matt finally came home to Liz and Melanie. He did have oxygen but the plan was to start chemo the following week. On Valentine's Day, Liz and Melanie got up and out the door to head to another day at the Dana Farber cancer clinic for Melanie. But when they got home, they found that their beloved husband and dad had passed away. Their hearts were forever broken on Valentine's Day.
Losing a son myself, I can confidently say that there is no doubt that Matt knew and could feel how much these 2 amazing ladies in his life truly loved him. Through sickness and in health, the three of them fought with love, strength and dignity to try to make their years together count. They did everything they could to extend their time together. I hope that Liz and Melanie know, without question, how much Matt loves them. Matt knew the feeling of losing loved ones all too well. He lost his little brother, his Dad and sister all to cancer. He knew that Liz and Melanie would eventually face this same feeling when he was gone and fought hard to prolong the good times. It is so unfair for a person to lose their spouse...but a child losing a parent, especially this young and going through their own medical chaos, is cataclysmic.
So many people had helped relieve the financial burden for them when Melanie had her transplant last year. I'm now calling on the helpers and healers once again. They now have a funeral and the expenses surrounding a death to deal with. Melanie is still unable to attend school in person and has frequent clinical appointments. This puts more stress on a family that is suddenly and newly grieving. My heart hurts for my cousin and Melanie. I know they are strong. I know they will get through, day by day. But it doesn't make it easier or fair. Liz is grieving for herself, for the should have beens, for her daughter that has lost her Dad and all their future memories that they deserve to have had together.
Anything helps. Please consider donating. Please share this link. Share it multiple times. So many things in life are out of our control. Even with the biggest and best efforts, things like this happen. But we can help. We can make a difference in the lives of Liz and Melanie by throwing in some money, showing our support and sharing their story...
Thanks again. Liz and Melanie, so many people love you. We are here for you, however we can be. Let's start with this.
If you prefer using venmo, Liz's Venmo is @Liz-Sallese
