My mother touched so many people in her 52 years on this earth. It brought her so much joy and comfort when she was able to help others. But my Mother was an extremely sad person. She was never able to escape from her traumas and heal. She carried it with her everywhere. We had a complicated relationship. But I know deep down in her own way she loved me. As you know my mother moved out to Colorado some years ago with her still current husband. Things got abusive and they separated 2ish years ago. But unfortunately they are still married. Meaning he is legally next of kin. This man hates me and my and family. He has expressed that I need to back off and let him take care of his wife. That myself and the remaining of her friends and family need to stay away. To be honest I’m putting how he said that very kindly despite what he actually said to me.
My mom loved Colorado, she said it was her true home. And I’m so happy she was able to find that in her short. But she desperately missed me, her father, brothers, niece, and nephew. She made SO many friends and connections here in Indiana. I know she treasured all of you.
My heart breaks because she will never get to see her only child get married. She will never get to help me plan for my wedding or help me pick out my dress. She will never get to see her step grandson grow up or any future grandchildren if fate goes that way.
My mom died from an overdose and planned it by leaving a note, expressing her pain. She was never one for funerals. She hated them. Too much sadness. But despite everything that has happened I feel that planning a celebration of life would be appropriate for this sad human would did help and touch MANY lives. We all deserve closure and I’m so sorry that legally I can’t have her cremated and follow her wishes. It’s out of my hands but what I can do is try to make arrangements to celebrate her life and invite every single person who loved her. But I can’t do it alone.
We are still waiting for the toxicology results to come back for the final cause of death. But seeing that she did leave a note, the likelihood of her death being ruled a suicide rather than overdose will more than likely be enough for her life insurance to be void.
I’ve never asked for money or help like this in my life. But I feel like I owe it to all you who knew her soul and watched me grow up. So please anything helpless. Please help me give all of us closure and the goodbye she deserves.
