Better than Before: Journey to Now features the stories of three veterans as they discuss the social, emotional, physical, and cultural effects of the Vietnam war. The film explores ways in which they heal from trauma, overcome adversity, and discrimination as they establish a new sense of self at a pivotal moment in their lives.

Story telling has a healing power that is immeasurable and has been used to transmute trauma. The personal stories of veterans aim to provide an individual and collective catharsis, while providing hope and inspiration through adversity. This film also aims to preserve the history of one of the world’s most controversial wars.

Better Than Before: Journey to Now aims to provide hope, inspire, and heal. The film is for those that have faced adversity and are on a path to transformation as well as those that want to learn about personal and collective history of the Vietnam War.

In 2012 I found out that my uncle James Isreal a Vietnam vet was diagnosed with multi-myeloma as a direct result to his exposure to the hazardous herbicide Agent Orange, a chemical herbicide that would prove to be lethal and debilitating to many Vietnam vets and Vietnam soldiers. When my uncle was diagnosed the cancer had taken over 95 percent of his body and was considered terminal. This angered and pained me deeply particularly the way in which the United States government knowingly exposed US soldiers to the toxic chemical with the sole goal tom destroy ‘the enemy’ at all costs. My uncle who seemed to find the joy and laughter in every moment didn’t deserve this . I remember when he described the day he got the diagnoses, he described it as ‘his lot in life’ and didn’t find it devastating, but rather, a part of his journey. It was hard for me to process his acceptance and surrender, but I admired it, and wanted to understand it. More urgently I wanted to express my rage by telling his story and experience in Vietnam as it would by default represent the story of many others.

Over the next four years I would document his story and assemble an art installation utilizing audio documentary and elaborate set design. His story revealed the trauma of war, effects of Post Trauma Stress Disorder (PTSD) ways that he disassociated and the racism he faced. However, the most illuminating part of his story was the spiritual journey he began after the war. He found new meaning in his existence and peace from non-attachment finding an inherent joy in every moment. His philosophy and ideology about life would become the foundation for my own experience and would continue to resound in me over the next four years.

By early 2020, my uncle received over two dozen treatments, drew weary and it was clear that after a long journey he was going to transition from this world. I wanted to keep his legacy alive, somehow do a follow up on his story but his condition wouldn’t allow for it. I determined that I would search for other African American Vietnam veterans like my uncle and would tell the stories of hope and transformation.

 

In March of 2020 we were in the throes of the pandemic, the world was locked down and it seemed impossible to connect with anyone to document their story on film. Nearly two months would go by, and I would be reminded of an artist residence that I applied for at the start of the year at a college in the suburbs of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I told myself I needed a break from New York City for a short while and wanted time to create. I interviewed for the position and was offered the opportunity. There was a bit of uncertainty and a little fear as I decided to take the position. Neither the administrators or I knew what my experience would be or if could even work during a time of massive ambiguity. In August 2020 off I went renting my Brooklyn apartment to a friend.

Two months later I met a grad student who introduced me to his father Malcolm, a Vietnam vet that was eager to share his story with me, to work through the pain and memories of the war. He was also equally excited to share the current richness of his life. Within six months, Malcolm would connect me with a very close friend of his James, another Vietnam veteran and who ironically has the same name as my uncle. Initially he wasn’t fully open to sharing but as time passed, he began to see the power and healing in storytelling.

Nearly 5 years have passed since I started this journey. I have formed wondrous friendships and allegiances with these men as they share their lives with me. They have helped me to heal and grieve in gentle and profound ways.

Life has changed for many of us over the last five years since the beginning of the pandemic.

In the subsequent years I have dedicated most of my time to the creation of this documentary, building remarkable relationships and connecting with other veterans, shifting nearly entirely to the Pittsburgh area to be able to submerge myself in telling this story.

Most of this project has been self-financed; my funding resources, and most of employment has gradually dissolved. The film is 75-80 percent complete. Additional funds are needed to finish, and I am requesting YOUR help.

Contributions of all sizes will help bring this  film to the screen. This film will be instrumental in the healing and transformation of the lives of veterans and others that have experienced deep trauma while also serving as an aid to preserve history.

            In order to finish the film, we need to raise $40,000: 

•   For cinematography
•   For Lodging/travel
•   To complete editing 
•   For Clearance/rights
•   To pay for graphics color correction, titles,
•   To pay for music, audio mix/sound design

IMPACT

Vietnam veterans have a significantly high prevalence of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) due to the traumatic experiences they faced during the war. While the impacts of war were studied decades earlier the term officially coined in the early 1980’s shortly after the end of the war. Vietnam veterans of color faced an additional set of challenges that their white counter parts did not. In addition to  mental health related issues associated with trauma or war, poor reception when returning to the US. Veterans of color were faced systematic racism and discrimination making it difficult to rebuild their lives after returning to the United States.

This film aims to provide a space for healing and discussion about a war that has had detrimental impacts, psychologically, socially, and economically on the US. This project offers as social and cultural atonement with one of the most controversial wars in contemporary history. Through engaging and evocative personal accounts this film educates, while providing an opportunity for collective healing and momentous transformation.

 

 

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