When Your Body Remembers What Your Mind Forgot

I'm a 72-year-old composer (58 original works including a full opera), music educator (50 years teaching), and writer with over 200 published essays on Substack exploring trauma recovery, creative expression, and the neuroscience of healing. I've created multiple essay series including "The Architecture of Memory" (my memoir in 26+ posts), "The Transformative Arts Framework" (trauma recovery through creativity), "The WITH Methodology" (revolutionizing music education), and "The Knights Testicular" (a satire). I make cartoons, tell funny stories, and I'm launching video content with Green Mountain Mentor Influencers soon. I'm a documented MK-Ultra survivor, abused in a number of ways including for being gay. I continue spending a lifetime turning trauma into art, teaching, and advocacy.

And my body is shutting down because the healthcare system won't treat trauma-based, stress-based illness.

I have trauma-induced metabolic emergency (TME)—when decades of unprocessed trauma rewrites your body's ability to function. My service dog smells the crisis and warns me, while medical teams don't know how to help me care for myself. My A1c is 9.4 (diabetic crisis range). My cortisol is severely depleted. I sleep 2 hours nightly. Without proper trauma-informed medical care, this condition will kill me. But because my metabolic crisis stems from documented childhood trauma rather than diabetic lifestyle, insurance won't cover the specialized treatment I need. I've spent $40,000 out-of-pocket over the past several years trying to survive. Expenses mount. The added stress needs immediate relief.

I'm asking for help to recover these medical costs so I can access the trauma-informed healthcare that can actually save my life. When I do get proper support, my body responds—my sleep improved from 2 to 5+ hours, my cognitive function is sharpening (my 200+ essays prove it), my pain decreases. My body wants to heal. It just needs the right care. These funds will clear medical debt, allow me to access specialized treatment, and reduce the financial stress that's actively making my condition worse. I'm not asking for luxury—I'm asking to live long enough to keep creating, teaching, and advocating for other trauma survivors. After 72 years of fighting to be heard, I'm asking for the resources to access healthcare that recognizes trauma is real, physical, and treatable.

Thank you for believing survivors deserve care and to thrive.

—Scott Thomas Carter

Read my work: Transformative Arts on Substack

Documentation: Current Vermont Board of Medical Practice Investigation, 200+ Published Essays on Substack, 58 Original Compositions on Spotify and Streaming Services, Lifetime Achievement Award from Who's Who in America, Professional Music Credentials