If you've ever looked like you had it all together but secretly felt like you were falling apart - this is for you!
Mental Health struggles aren't always visible, nor are they easy to explain. They are definitely not easy to escape. But mental wellness IS possible.
I've lived both extremes - the glow of the spotlight, the crowns and 6 Fitness Universe titles... and the darkness of depression and shadows of suicidal ideation.
So, this isn't just about the crown. It's about the comeback - the audacity to keep rising and the authenticity to keep it real.
Beyond Beauty
A small-town tomboy somehow transformed herself into a beauty queen.
As a senior in college, my first pageant experience sent me spiraling into a depression that I never saw coming. Not your typical pageant girl, as a Division 1 athlete - healthy, disciplined, strong - I was told I was too muscular, too different. And for the first time, I questioned whether being myself was not enough... or maybe it was too much.
I didn't realize it then, but I was chasing worth in the wrong place - looking for a crown to validate what I hadn't yet learned to see in the mirror. That was the catalyst of a journey of self-love, self-development and a fascination with human behavior and psychology.
When I finally chose authenticity over approval, everything changed. Weeks before competing for Miss United States, I lost my job and couldn't afford any of the things I "needed" to be a contender. My one "splurge" was $13 dress from Ross. I was forced to do my own very simple (and not that great) makeup and hair. I had nothing to hide behind - no armor, no facade. It was just me.
Although I was standing there between two perfectly polished Barbies, the crown was put on my head. And that's when it made sense. I already had everything that I needed all along - I just had to recognize it.
Wellness Within
I went on to become a 6X Fitness Universe Champion — traveling the world, coaching women, and helping them not only build strength but authentic confidence that only comes from within.
But then, life stopped me in my tracks.
Already overworked, overwhelmed and undernourished — emotionally and physically, my dad unexpectedly passed away. Continuing to push beyond my limit for months, my body finally said “If you won’t stop, I will stop you.” That turned into a few years of chronic fatigue with bouts of debilitating anxiety, depression, and I questioned whether I had the strength — or the will — to keep going.
Somewhere deep inside, a small, stubborn voice whispered: “This will eventually pass.”
With what little energy I had left, I slowly worked toward my holistic health coaching certification — not to build a career, but to save my own life and hopefully one day, be back to normal.
Through a very long process that almost left me with nothing, I realized that wellness isn’t about perfection or pushing harder.
It’s about permission — to rest, to realign, to rebuild, to rise.
Growing up experiencing my father’s bipolar highs and lows shaped my understanding of compassion and made mental health very personal for me from childhood. Now, working in middle school special education and as a track coach, I see it in a new light every day. As a holistic health coach, after years in industries built on the myth of perfection, and a culture of hustle and performance, it is vital to normalize these conversations and release the shame of actually being human.
Every rise, every fall, every breakdown — it all had a purpose.
Beauty in the Breakdown
Beyond Beauty, Wellness Within isn’t just a phrase — it’s my calling. And it’s about burning down the image of what we thought we needed to be to reveal the depths of who we are actually meant to be.
Preparing to take the International Ms. stage and in partnership with Still She Rose, this is my full circle moment. Healing isn’t always pretty, but it’s powerful. And I’m living proof that there can be beauty in the breakdown.
As I lead holistic wellness workshops talks, and write my book, I help women and youth cultivate authentic confidence, own their unique beauty and strength and love their minds and bodies from the inside out.
This platform isn’t about perfection — it’s about presence (and maybe a dash of sparkle).
And while I have come a long way, I am still on this journey. I’m still rebuilding my life after nearly losing everything.
So, this is about honoring that journey, having the audacity to be gracefully human and embodying the freedom to be flawed and fearless.
This is your invitation to join me.
Keep it real.
Keep on Rising!
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Still She Rose is a wellness program for leaders, women and teens in the pageant industry. Funded by the B4ACUSA Foundation, wellness program initiatives are open to all pageant community members.
The ROSE is symbolic of the spirit that grows within each of us when proper care and attention is applied.
Together, we can encourage wellness through self care, positive body image, renewed self esteem and affirmation of one's identity beyond pageantry. We aim to engage in a conversation of support, honesty, reflection and awareness, in order to promote wellness as the foundation of the pageant industry.
Because each of us can say, She Struggled; and Still She Rose.
