Hello everyone, my name is Mary Subias. I am reaching out for help. I don't know any other way. I am 31 years old, my life started back in 2009 when I found out I was pregnant! I was 19, my whole life I was told I would never be able to get or stay pregnant. God had bigger plans!
I was in college full time making straight A's, volunteering / being an advocate for women and children, working two jobs, I was also teaching first and second grade Sunday School in a Baptist church I belonged in. I had one more semester to go before I graduated.
My son's father soon changed. He was the first person I had ever slept with or had any kind of sexual encounter and I was 19 which is when I got pregnant. I thought I was in love. When I was 6 months pregnant we got married because I thought it was the right thing to do because that's how I was brought up in my religion.
The day that we got married was the first time the abuse started. I thought on you who he was, little did I know. We didn't even go to our own reception because we had to go deliver drugs (which I had no prior knowledge of). He made me drop out of college, quit my jobs, stop being an advocate and stop going to church. He wouldn't let me have contact with my friends or my family. The abuse got worse as time went on.
The day my son was born was and still is the BEST day of my life! Would my son was around 4 months old my husband at the time and his father came home from "work" my husband took my son from me and told me they were going to play outside for a little while and and that his dad wanted to see me. The next thing I know my ex-husband's father comes in with a loaded syringe with heroin. I refused it, I had never used anything before, I didn't even smoke weed, never took a pill, NOTHING! He proceeded to beat me till I couldn't take it anymore then he gave me the shot. Then he raped me. After that one shot I was stuck and I knew it. For years I tried and tried to get out, to leave with my son.
It took me 5 years to plan and escape. But I didn't finally! The day I left him was the very last day I touched heroin! I did that not only for myself but for my son. I did it without any help, no medications, no nothing because I didn't want to get hooked on something else. I almost didn't make it. I had seizures with the withdrawals, and I was completely sick. My son needed me, he needed me clean and sober. This was in 2014.
That year I was able to leave and get divorced, I had to have an emergency hysterectomy from them passing me around to all of their friends. Then a few months later, the unthinkable happened. My son was taken from me legally, he was given to my ex-husband, full custody, I lost all rights. The only reason for this was because they had money... Dirty money. I can't compete with drug dealing money.
I have been fighting for him since I lost him. I've taken my ex to court countless times. Then my ex started doing this thing and this was after he got married to where if I would sleep with him I could see my son. I did this a handful of times, shamefully I might add. But I was going to do whatever I had to do to see my son. In 2017/2018 I put a stop to doing that with him in order to see my son. It was weighing too heavily on my soul.
Skip forward a couple years to 2021. I have been on and off drugs for 11 years now. When I'm able to have my son in my life when my ex-husband will let me I am completely clean and sober but then he'll get mad at me for whatever reason I take my son away and tell me I will never have anything else to do with him and so I get depressed and I start using drugs again.
Last year I got into some legal trouble for the first time. From everything my ex put me through I have really bad PTSD, I had a service puppy that never left my side and it helped with my PTSD and my anxiety and depression. And it helped me cope with not getting to see my son. I moved to Georgia with my dog, the people I lived with did something with her. I went a little crazy and told them I was going to kill them if they didn't get my dog back to me. They ended up calling the cops. I got arrested in Atlanta and spent 5 months in jail. I got charged with terroristic threats and acts which is a felony. I am on what they call color code which is where they assign a color to you and you have to call this number daily and if they call your color you have to go and take a drug screen. I've been on this for a year and have of course passed all of them. I'm also on probation I have four more years left on it.
I'm doing the absolute best I can. I just found out recently with me trying to take the ex to court again that I owed $7,000 back child support. I didn't even know I owed. I wasn't even served papers! And I have proof where I have written checks to my ex-husband and he wouldn't take them he said that he didn't go after child support he didn't want my money because he could provide for our son just fine.
I had to get another attorney which was $4,600. My fine from what I got arrested is $2,000. I had to borrow $13,600 for my dad he really didn't have the money. My dad has now ran into some trouble and just needing that money back that I borrowed ASAP.
I lost everything when I went to jail even my car. I am needing to find a cheap car for about $3,500.
The last thing I need is another attorney. My last attorney this whole past year has told me the chances of me getting my son and being able to have true jointly custody we're really really good because I have been passing every drug test, checking in to my probation officer, going to drug and alcohol counseling, I paid the back child support, I paid for my attorney, and I've just been jumping through hoops and then some. Well about not even a week before we were supposed to go to court my attorney calls me and says I need to come down to the office, so I go he proceeds to tell me that there is absolutely no way I will get more visitation than every other weekend. This whole summer I have had my child every other week for the whole entire week. My attorney said that if we were going to go to court his attorney would tear me apart not only that if my son was to testify where he wanted to be it wouldn't have made any bit of difference at all. This type stuff is what I deal with with every attorney that I have had since 2014 and what it is is my ex-husband will go behind me and pay them more than what I did.
So now I'm going to need another $5,500 and find a different attorney outside of where I live who will represent me and my child. The last thing that I need help with is a vehicle I'm going to say around $3,500 for a good used one. Please help me get my son back in my life. He needs me just as much as I need him. Please help reunite us. Any contribution will help tremendously! Thank you all very much from the bottom of my heart!
